The UnDutchables

“Holland occupies less than 1% of the earth’s surface…
Its airline covers the rest.”
KLM

Holanda versus Países Baixos
Holanda aplica-se às províncias dominantes do Norte e Sul que antigamente tinham florestas densas (Holt Land = terra da Madeira). Os habitantes das províncias de Limburg e Friesland consideram-se diferentes dos verdadeiros holandeses e sentem-se insultados com a denominação (?).

Facto (2001): altura média dos altos habitantes dos Países Baixos 1,88m.

The toilet
“The bowl is uniquely shaped to include a plateau, well above the normal water level. Its purpose becomes obvious the first time you see (or use) one. Why the worldly, cultured Dutch have this sadistic desire to study the recent content on their stomach remains a mystery. Perhaps it is not the sight of the deposit fermenting on the ´inspection shelf´, but the personal aroma that emanates from the depths and lingers in the closet for hours after the offending substance has been launched on its final journey.”

[A minha sanita não é assim, mas as da casa do João Graciano são, como já tinha comentado com alguns de vocês depois da minha primeira visita a este país lol]

“The toilet brush is another compulsory component. It is necessitated by the inspection shelf´ and is included in the full spectrum of Dutch dwellings, both permanent and temporary. After using the toilet, a well-behaved guest will always clean the toilet bowl meticulously with the brush and chemical cleansers provided. From the poorest house-boat to the most exclusive and elegant hotel, the trusty toilet brush will always occupy a meaningful space in the chamber. It is an item accepted by all, mentioned by none, seen to be used by no one… yet always wet.”

[Da minha experiência, os guests das casas de banho do hospital não são well-behaved... e essas, felizmente, também não sao do design plateau!]

“For anyone wanting to really go native, there is a tried and true way to brush off the embarrassment. Before taking your seat, place one or two sheets of toilet paper on the shelf. When flushing, your deposit should slide away on the sheets without leaving any skid marks on the porcelain. Although this uses a little extra toilet paper, the cost is offset by the price of the toilet cleanser you didn’t need to use.”

[O mesmo príncipio usado nas porcelanas normais para evitar o ´splash´!]


E com esta conversa de m**** acabo o ´capítulo´ :)


  ¶ 8:51 AM